


Yes, I'll Take a Venti Shot of Betrayal Please

by bitheby



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Bad Jokes, M/M, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Matsukawa Issei, Other, Pining, Relatable College Struggles, Sort Of, aka no money and not wanting to go to class, and he is not pleased, background ships to come depending on how my fingers do the typing thing, basically Iwa is the hot new barista at Oikawa's favorite coffee shop, i wrote half of this at 1AM, im incredibly sorry, im so sorry, im...a very different person at 1am, most likely ooc because im Bad At This, sorta - Freeform, whenever i write this fic i am possessed by mattsun's spirit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-05-16 07:44:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19313722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitheby/pseuds/bitheby
Summary: . “So, I don’t know if you know this, but I like my men how I like my coffee—hot, sweet, and creamy.”“So…” the hot barista says blankly, obviously trying to interpret what that meant in normal human, “one venti cappuccino with six creams and six sugars?”‘Marry me, please,’ Oikawa thought desperately. “Uh, yes?” ‘This really must be an angel in disguise, only someone with divine knowledge could get it perfect, first try. Wait, fuck, he’s asking me a question. Probably asking if I want whip, right? I mean, who doesn’t want whip?’ “Yes.”“Your name is ‘Yes’?”‘God damn it, Tooru. Well, too late to back out now.’ “…Yes.”





	1. Oikawa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up, I know absolutely nothing about coffee, this is all according to google
> 
> Happy Birthday Shittykawa I hope you finally become a decent human this year I can't believe I actually planned out an entire fic for you

Oikawa liked his patterns.

Specifically, his morning pattern, which consisted of Suga jumping on him to wake him up to inform that he was inevitably running late again, and sprinting to his favorite coffee shop halfway to his astrophysics lecture. He would dick around for a minute with the barista working the counter as he realized he wasn’t _actually_ as late as he thought he was and then run to class because now he actually _was_ late.

This morning threw a wrench into the perfectly crafted three-month pattern.

 

He ran into the warm building in a panic, despite knowing deep in his mind that he didn’t _really_ need to. “HEY MOTHER—” he started his traditional greeting before seeing the unfamiliar being behind the counter, “—fucker,” he trailed off.

Unfortunately, his brain tended to forget all human functions around the mere sight of an attractive not-explicitly-taken man, but seeing what could only be a god brought down to Earth made him somehow even worse off.

He stepped forward into the line, trying to hurriedly repair his hard drive before having to interact with his future husband. When the person in front of him started to order their drink, he realized that he was no closer to having his speech function reinstalled than he was three minutes before, so he turned on his heel and walked to the back of the ever-growing line.

He did this two more times before coming up with a brilliant, fool-proof plan. Truly his most intelligent idea to date. When his turn to order finally came, before he could chicken out again, he sidled up to the counter and put all of his charm into the sentence he spoke. “So, I don’t know if you know this, but I like my men how I like my coffee—hot, sweet, and creamy.”

“So…” the hot barista says blankly, obviously trying to interpret what that meant in Normal Human, “one venti cappuccino with six creams and six sugars?”

‘ _Marry me, please_ ,’ Oikawa thought desperately. “Uh, yes?” ‘ _This really must be an angel in disguise, only someone with divine knowledge could get it perfect, first try. Wait, fuck, he’s asking me a question. Probably asking if I want whip, right? I mean, who doesn’t want whip?_ ’ “Yes.”

“Your name is ‘Yes’?”

‘ _God damn it, Tooru. Well, too late to back out now._ ’ “…Yes.”

Mr. God-On-Earth simply shrugged and wrote it on his cup before passing it back to…that fucker. Oikawa made eye contact with one of his usual baristas, the one with the dark hair, who smirked and nodded at him in recognition, before turning to make his drink.

Oikawa had considered about five different means of escape, including, but not limited to, faking a heart attack and knocking himself out on the floor as he fell off his chair, but he figured that wasn’t reliable enough to _actually_ knock him out, and just might make him dizzy. So, when he heard the dreaded “Drink for Mr. Yes,” he stood up and walked over to the counter, flipped off the barista who knew his _actual_ name, and stormed out, not even caring that his favorite class had already started.

 

The next morning, he seriously considered not getting his daily dose of caffeine, but decided menace-to-society Tooru was worse than flaming-volcano Tooru.

(Really, it was Koushi who decided for him, but sure, Tooru, let yourself believe you were sacrificing your pride for the greater good.)

He walked into the coffee shop, ready to face death, and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw his usual baristas behind the counter. That relief was short-lasted, however, at the sight of the new guy standing next to them.

‘ _Fucking of course. Of_ course _the universe won’t just let me get my coffee in peace._ ’

He made his way up to the counter, trying to make himself as small as possible, hoping he could just order and be on his way. The universe really just needed to be on his side for only 30 seconds.

The universe was not on his side.

He waited there for what must’ve been a full minute, listening to the two baristas talk, and it wasn’t even about anything coffee related! It was about some monster movie!

“It wasn’t even _good_ though! It disgraced the entire franchise and ruined the whole subplot they had been building for the past _four_ movies!”

“Iwa—” the regular barista cut themself off as he saw Oikawa waiting. They nudged the new barista—Iwa?—before sprouting a shit-eating grin. Oikawa’s stomach instantly filled with dread at the sight. He had seen it plenty of times but had never been on this end of it. “Hey, Mr. Yes!” They knew, they _knew_ , what his actual name was (yet they had always refused to tell him theirs), and yet.

Oikawa really needed this coffee.

Iwa stood behind the register and immediately transformed from aggravated fanboy to composed employee. “Venti cappuccino, six creams, six sugars?”

Blush disappearing into his hairline, Oikawa nodded. “…Yes.”

As he paid, he considered whether it would be worth it to skip his lecture for the second time in a row to go home and cry, but a quick glance at his grade told him it would _not_.

And so, he went.

 

The next couple weeks—yes, _weeks_ —continued in the same vein, with Oikawa being unable to string more than a few words together at a time, and this Iwa refusing to be anything other than absolute _perfection_. He made his drink perfectly, every time, and even though Oikawa had _meant_ to change it up on him to see if he could still hold himself up to this impossible standard, he could never actually speak enough to do it.

It was quickly becoming his least favorite part of the day, especially when Other Barista was there, ready to tease him at any moment.

And he _still_ hadn’t been able to catch more than a passing glance at his nametag.

 

It all became even more unbearable, however, when Iwa—somehow—learned his actual name. He was, thankfully, not at the cashier when Oikawa ordered, which let him actually speak a full sentence for the first time in almost a month.

(Or, two days, but it _felt_ like a month so fuck you too, Kou-chan.)

And yet, when Iwa called out, “Venti cappuccino for Oikawa,” even though Oikawa _knew_ the other barista had written “Mr. Yes” on his cup, he almost forgot how to breathe again. Thankfully, he was aware enough to go up and grab the cup from his outstretched hand, stuttering out a thanks before just _booking_ it out of there, back to his apartment, degree be damned.

 

“Tooru?” Suga asked, seeing Oikawa on their couch for the third time this week. After seeing his face and getting no response, he added, “Is it the barista again?”

Cue exasperated groan.

“Have you tried _talking_ to him?” Whine. “Fine, then what’s his name? I can probably find him on social media somewhere.” Silence. “You do know his name, right?”

Finally, a response. “Of course I do! It’s Iwa…something!”

“Iwamoto?”

“Hm, no, I don’t think so.”

“Iwasaki?”

“No, it’s more like…Izumi?”

“That’s not even what you said!”

“Fine, then he’s Iwa-chan!”

 "Oh my god, Tooru, just get his name then I can help you."

“Kou-chan, it’s just not _fair_ , I mean he’s just so _perfect_.”

“And how do you know this?”

“He makes me _coffee_ , Kou-chan! How can he _not_ be? He was even able to interpret my failed pick-up line! He’s the man for me!”

“And what’s his name again?”

“Fuck you, Kou-chan!”

“Tooru,” Suga sighed, “are you ever going to help me get ready for this date tonight or should I just do it myself?”

“Right! Date! Who is this with again?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: *knows absolutely nothing about coffee or love at first sight*  
> Me: yeah I should definitely write a coffeeshop au how hard could it be :)
> 
>  
> 
> I'll be honest, I don't love this chapter, really at all, but thankfully I've already gotten most of chapter 2 written so hopefully that'll be up relatively quickly


	2. Iwaizumi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to say, hey @CheetahLeopard2, your plan to get me to write more of this succeeded, so here I am

Iwaizumi was sitting at his desk, rubbing his head, trying to convince himself to do just a few more assignments. Especially with needing to finish memorizing all these orders for tomorrow’s shift. He groaned. _Why_ did he allow Matsukawa to drag him into their barista job again?

‘ _Right,_ ’ he thought, looking at his bank account, ‘ _that’s why._ ’

But still, why _this_ job? He knew absolutely nothing about coffee. Thankfully, Matsukawa had been able to give him a list of all their regulars and their usuals, now he just had to go and actually _learn_ them all. They had already given him the basic training, so he knew how to use all the equipment, he just had no idea what any of it actually _meant_. He had no idea what the difference between a mocha and a latte was, much less all the…other things.

The door slammed open, jolting him from his thoughts.

‘ _Ah, must be Daichi back from his date._ ’

He got up, mildly concerned at the excess of noise coming from their kitchen. There, trying to climb onto the stove, was his roommate trying to get a glass from the top shelf.

“Daichi!” Iwaizumi shouted, running over to make sure he didn’t have an injured body on his hands in a few seconds. He sat him down at the table before getting him a glass of water and painkillers, definitely needed judging by the way he was acting. He waited until Daichi had emptied the glass before finally asking, “What happened? I thought this was going well?”

“It _was_ , Haji, it _was_ ,” Daichi started, while Iwaizumi tried to ignore the sudden flush he felt at his best friend being so affectionate. “But Suga, he, he just kept ordering more and more and _more_ drinks and I just, I just panicked and kept drinking too.”

Iwaizumi sighed. He never was a particularly heavy drinker and would always, _always_ lose when he tried to prove otherwise. “Well, I guess tonight I’m mothering the father, so you’re going to bed and then you’ll tell me how the rest of it went in the morning…or the evening, considering how much you’ve had,” he added, laughing.

After he put Daichi in his room with another glass of water and even more painkillers beside him, he went back to his own room to finish his studying. ‘ _Another day, another set of orders to memorize_.’

 

He wasn’t surprised to leave early the next morning without seeing his roommate at all, but he was surprised to see Oikawa, or “Mr. Yes”, walk in the doors. According to Matsukawa, he hardly came in on the weekends, or only very late.

“Venti cappuccino, six creams, six sugars?” He asked.

“Yes, _please_ ,” Oikawa sighed with relief. “Plus, a venti americano,” he added as an afterthought.

“Long night?” Iwaizumi asked, getting his order ready, not seeing the point in handing it off when there was no one else in line.

“Ugh, _yes_ , but thankfully this isn’t for me. See, my roommate went out last night and apparently his date thought he could outdrink him which is so stupid no one, and I mean _no one_ , can outdrink Koushi.”

“Funnily enough, my roommate had the same thing happen last night except he was not on the winning end.” He felt his phone buzz. “Speaking of which, that’s probably him apologizing for whatever weird shit he thinks he might’ve said last night.”

**Daichi** : give it to me straight, Hajime, how messed up was I last night?

**Iwaizumi** : you know I can’t do that Daichi, but I can be honest with you if that’s what you meant

**Iwaizumi** : I don’t really know honestly you rambled a bit about how pretty he was when I was trying to get you to go to sleep, but other than that, nothing too embarrassing

**Daichi** : oh thank god

“So if your roommate is the one that won, does that mean he has a raging hangover or none at all?”

“Just a small one thankfully. If he didn’t have one at all, I might have had to kill him myself, it’s not fair being prettier than me early in the morning, especially if they’ve been OUT DRINKING ALL NIGHT, _MATTSUN_ ,” he shouted towards the back, where Iwaizumi’s boss popped their head out.

“You rang, alien bitch?”

Iwaizumi was so shocked he jumped, spilling Oikawa’s drink down the front of his uniform. “What the _fuck_ , Matsukawa?”

“Oh damn, just, go get changed in the back, Iwaizumi, I’ll finish this order up, my bad. You can just take your break now, if you want.”

As he headed to the back room, he heard a very indignant voice whispering something about being a traitor and betraying your one and only friend.

Thankfully, he also heard the reply: “One and only friend? Bitch, you learned my name _yesterday_. Besides, didn’t I tell you I’d give you his name eventually?”

Iwaizumi went hot, probably more than he would’ve liked, before shutting the door to the peacefully silent room.

He sat there, texting Daichi for a few minutes, before Matsukawa came back and said that Oikawa had left, two drinks richer and $20 poorer.

“Right, what was that even about? You told him you’d, what? Get him my name? When you already knew it? And when did you see each other? I was working yesterday the same times you were.”

“Yeah, he saw me out with Hiro yesterday and asked. Couldn’t give it to him right away, could I? Gotta protect my best bro!”

“Matsukawa…” he started before giving up.

“What? You like him, don’t you?”

“Well, no, I mean, yeah, I mean he’s pretty okay? But I don’t know him yet, so I don’t want to just go off and _date_ him………yet.”

“AHA, so there’s a ‘yet’ I see!”

“Did you come in here to let me do my job or did you come in here to make fun of me?”

“Eh, I figured why not get both done at the same time? Besides, break’s up and Mrs. Uchiyama’s here and I can’t remember her order.”

“You can’t remem— _you gave me her order_!” He sighed, heaving himself out of the chair. “I’ll be right there.”

 

When Iwaizumi got home that night, Daichi had already cooked dinner for the both of them, so he finally got to hear how the fateful date had gone, pre-drinking.

“He’s the kindest person I’ve ever met, no actually, and even though he doesn’t want to continue working for this company after this internship is up—I know, he wants to be a _nurse_ how sweet is that—he works harder than anyone else in the office.”

“Damn. So, he’s the actual mom friend whereas I’m just the scary mom-dad combo?”

“ _Yes_. He’s somehow been able to wrangle the interns that just clown around into doing work except no one will tell me how he does it! They either come out all friends or completely sheepish and I need him to teach me that skill.”

“Hey, at least you’ve already been out on one date, and it didn’t seem like that scared him off too much,” Iwaizumi said, nodding towards Daichi’s phone with multiple texts from Suga appearing on the screen.

“Just, look at it!” Daichi insisted, giving Iwaizumi his phone. “Is it weird that he’s already asked me out for a second date? Is it weird that I want to say yes?”

“No? I mean, you’ve been dancing around each other for ages, I don’t think it’s unreasonable that you want to spend time together now that you’ve finally gotten some balls to do anything about it. When’s the next date?”

“Friday!”

“Hey, nice! What’re you guys doing for it? I know you went to see that new restaurant, right?”

“Yeah, except he won’t tell me where we’re going this time! He said that because I was the one that actually asked him out, he needs to ‘impress’ me with his date-planning abilities or something…I’m actually kind of worried about what he’ll choose, he’s not exactly…restrained.”

“So you’ve demonstrated,” Iwaizumi replied, laughing. “But since that’s this weekend, shouldn’t we try and get that partner project we’re supposed to do for Kumagai before then. How about we do the outline tonight and then tomorrow, we can…”

 

The disaster of Saturday seemed to break the awkwardness around Iwaizumi and Oikawa, so when Oikawa strolled through the door at 7:30am Monday morning, he had no problem going off on a rant about the unfairness of mandatory 8am lectures.

Tuesday was similar, except Iwaizumi was audience to an explanation (complete with a powerpoint on the other man’s phone) and dissection of all major alien theories, none of them, to his surprise, pulled from any sketchy conspiracy-theory websites.

Iwaizumi didn’t get any sleep Tuesday night, spending nine hours on a research paper he hadn’t had time to do before. Thankfully, Oikawa agreed to proofread it Wednesday morning, having coincidentally woken up early, while Iwaizumi was making his drink, pointing out more than a few typos that had made it through his computer’s spellcheck.

Thursday, Iwaizumi repeated his rant from the previous week, subjecting Oikawa, along with the rest of the coffee shop, to his very passionate and very _correct_ opinions, thank you very much. After Oikawa had not only listened, but also responded to and debated a few of those opinions, Iwaizumi decided that it was inevitable; he could no longer avoid asking Oikawa for his number. The next day, before they separated for the weekend.

The next morning, however, the universe did not agree with him.

Daichi woke him up, completely frantic, at 5, trying to figure out what he should wear that night, since neither of them had been successful at getting Suga to spill his secrets.

So Iwaizumi had no choice but to start his shift in a sour mood, brightening slightly when the man of the hour walked through the door, appearing slightly out of breath. “Ah, Suga-san! What would you like today?”

Suga’s answer was interrupted by a very disheveled Oikawa shoving open the door and yelling, “KOU-CHAN! You need to stop doing that!!”

Iwaizumi looked between the two of them before it finally clicked that Suga must be the infamous roommate he’d heard so much about over the past week. “What did he do this time?” he asked.

“How dare you assume _I_ , most innocent of all people, have done something wrong? The _audacity_ , Iwa-chan I cannot _believe_ —”

“He was taking too long in the shower, so I cut off the water, and when he came out to ‘investigate’, I ran into the bathroom and locked him out,” Suga answered, his dimple flashing a cheeky smile at Iwaizumi. “So, Iwaizumi, is Daichi ready for our date tonight? You’d better warn him, because he won’t be able to walk for a week after I’m done with him.” Iwaizumi coughed, accidentally sending Oikawa’s drink skidding across the counter before tipping over (he didn’t even need to look at his notes anymore, so he decided he might as well get it started).

“KOU-CHAN!”

“What?” he answered innocently, holding up his phone, showing a reservation for a nearby indoor trampoline park.

“Suga-san, you’re going to kill him,” Iwaizumi said, desperately trying to clean up the spilled drink.

“That’s the plan, Iwaizumi,” he said, winking. “Oh shit, I forgot I agreed to meet with my professor for last-minute office hours, see you!” he cried before running out the door, not bothering to even finish his order.

As Iwaizumi turned back to the counter to restart the drink he had messed up, Oikawa asked, “So, how do you know Kou-chan? I know you obviously don’t work with him but you seemed pretty close…especially with Daichi?”

“Oh, Daichi and I are roommates, so I’ve gone to a couple of their work parties before. Wait, if you’re Suga’s roommate, how come I’ve never run into you there?”

“Oh, those are always on Friday nights, which is when the campus planetarium does open houses to the public. I like to work at those, so Kou-chan just goes my himself most times.”

“Right, you’re an astronomy major, aren’t you? Damn, that’s really cool, I could never do anything like that.”

“What are you talking about? I’m sure you’re plenty smart! What’s your major?”

“I…don’t know,” Iwaizumi answered hesitantly. “I guess I just haven’t been able to find something that’s really called to me, you know? I’ve taken a lot of classes that are interesting, but nothing that I’d want to do full-time…”

“Hm, have you tried joining clubs? Especially now at the beginning of the semester, most groups have a free trial-type thing where you don’t have to commit yet, so you can join a bunch and then just drop all the ones that don’t interest you! I know there’s this film appreciation club; it’s not super big but they do a lot of analysis on the plots and filmography of the movies if you wanted to join that.”

Iwaizumi’s eyes snapped up to him. He didn’t want to admit it, but that sounded like _exactly_ the kind of thing he’d want to do in his spare time. As for helping him find a major, he wasn’t sure how that would help, but it couldn’t hurt to try, right?

“Oikawa…I…”

“Hey, Shittykawa! Doesn’t your class start in five minutes?”

“FUCK YOU MATTSUN! Bye, Iwa-chan, thanks for the coffee!”

“Iwa…chan?”

He looked up to see his boss just slowly shaking their head at him. They nodded slightly, as if they were trying to prod him into action.

Right. He had a line. ‘ _Shit!_ ’

 

“No, no, no, that’s probably too nice for tonight. This is just the second date, right? It’s not like he’s not taking you out to a super nice restaurant or anything,” Iwaizumi reasoned as he took the jacket from Daichi’s hands.

“How would you know? This morning you were just as panicked as me!”

“Oh, well—”

Thankfully, he was interrupted by Daichi’s phone going off in the background.

“Go on, I bet he’s confirming the timing of everything. I’ll see what I can find here,” he said, already putting together a pile of clothes he can give to Suga so his friend didn’t have to get all sweaty in his nice clothes.

He had just finished stuffing them into a bag and shoved it into the corner of the room when his friend came back, looking dejected.

“What’s wrong? Is he going to be late?”

“No, something about an assholeish professor and a paper that’s due sooner than he expected?”

After a minute of silence, “Why don’t we invite Matsukawa and Hanamaki over then? I’m sure the chucklefucks would find a way to still make tonight enjoyable.”

 

The chucklefucks were, indeed, available, and were at their apartment in under twenty minutes, arms full of alcohol and popcorn.

“Hey, just because you’re not going out tonight doesn’t mean you can’t still get so drunk you forget how you got home!”

“How did you find out about that?” Daichi asked, glaring at Iwaizumi.

“Hey, for once I actually have no idea how they found out,” he replied. “Besides, it’s not like he decided he didn’t want to date you anymore; shit happens and we all know that.”

“Yeah, but, I was really looking forward to seeing him again?”

“Hey,” he said as he turned towards the couple on the couch, “if I ever get this sappy about someone, make sure to hit me a couple times to make sure I’m aware of what I’m doing.” Hanamaki laughed, laughing even harder when Matsukawa reaches around them to slap him lightly on the head. “Hey! What was that for?” he asked indignantly, responding to their confused look with an even more confused look of his own.

“Okay, enough with the sap!” Hanamaki declared, clapping their hands together. “From now on, the only person who’s allowed to say anything sappy is Daichi, and that’s only so I can learn all about this mysterious Suga-san and determine if he’s worthy of our little Dai-chan. But first, a drink!”

“Don’t even get me started on Suga, I’m serious. He’s too perfect for this world and I’m pretty sure he’s actually an angel in disguise.”

“He’s also a little shit,” Iwaizumi added, recalling his conversation that morning.

“Well, yeah, that’s true too. He’s an angelic shit and I…”

Iwaizumi listened, but his thoughts couldn’t help but drift towards Oikawa. Now _that_ was one person who was surely an angelic shit. Angelic for his looks, shit for his personality when he knows he’s being paid any attention. But once you got to know the actual _him_ , he wasn’t too bad. ‘ _In fact_ ,’ Iwaizumi thought, ‘ _he’s really pretty cool_.’

His thoughts continue as he drinks with the rest of the group until Matsukawa says, “Hey Iwa,” breaking him from his reverie.

“Yeah?” he responded hesitantly.

“What d’ya think about Shittykawa, huh?”

“Sh-Shittykawa? What about him?”

“Well what do you think about him?”

“Uh...”

“Hajime, you can’t just listen to my whole gay rant and then _not_ tell me yours.”

“Fine. I mean, he’s really pretty I guess?”

“You _guess_?”

And apparently that was enough to crack him.

“No, okay, fuck you. Holy shit, Daichi, he’s so pretty I want to fight him it’s not fair. And his eyes are just—and his _hair_ it’s so annoying but it looks so _soft_ and it’s not _fair_ and he’s so smart like you can’t just be an astrophysics major and _not_ be that smart and he’s such a dork and—” he distantly heard Matsukawa—or maybe it was Hanamaki?—sigh, but he paid them no mind. “—he tries to be annoying because he thinks it’ll make people like him but he’s really super nice and caring and I’m too gay for this and I just…” He trailed off, throwing his head back and groaning.

The others stared at him in shock for a moment before Hanamaki broke into a grin. “Yeah, now _that’s_ what we were talking about, Hajime.”

He didn’t have enough energy to look at them, so he just flipped them off from where he was sitting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah so that was that? There's one more chapter but I haven't even started that one so...we'll see?


End file.
